This got me thinking about my own roommate. I really need to vent and I think a list is a good way. So here is the indictment of my roommate from Hell.
1) She’s a grade A slob.
I used to be friends with my roommate, and when I would visit her, she was always cleaning her apartment. Turns out it was only because I was coming over. Now, I admit, I am not the cleanest person, but she disgusted me. Often she would not do dishes on her turn, and then when we decided she would do hers and we would do ours, she would still not do them. I think the last time she did dishes was June. The worst part is that she will get mad at you for telling her that they need too be done.
She never cleans her litter box. I think she’s cleaned it 3 times since we moved in and we have been living here for six months. Obviously, her room smells like cat piss and shit. The worst part? She often locks her own cat out of her room, and he either pisses and shits on my couch (which is now ruined) or in the shower. Want to hazard a guess on if she cleans it up without being asked?
She has 100% never helped with housework. Granted, we have the bedroom and the living room, but she leaves dirty dishes all over the kitchen and throws her dirty clothes all over the bathroom floor. She only cleaned the tub once, but that was a special occasion. Also, I think she has literally been on her period the whole time we’ve been here because there are always tampons in the bathroom trash (which she has never thrown out, I always have to), and I don’t use them.
2) She smokes weed all day everyday starting when she wakes up.
When we first moved in, the agreement was that she would light incense to avoid the smell. When she found out the people upstairs smoke, I guess she decided that it didn’t matter how we felt about it, even tho I told her I’m not worried about getting caught, I just hate the smell. So for five months I’ve had the joy of living in a weed den.
3) She tried to have her boyfriend here all the time.
I have no doubt that if we didn’t make it clear that he was over too much, he would be living here by now. He still comes over way too much and I really want to call the cops on him for being a drug dealer, but since he isn’t dealing out of my house, I don’t think anything will come of it. Also, he seriously uses half a fucking roll of toilet paper whenever he uses the bathroom, which he stays in for 25 minutes at a time.
4) She’s manipulative and a mooch.
She hasn’t paid a utility bill since May. She owes me like $190 for bills. She never buys toilet paper (she bought the first pack and the fourth pack) and when she does she buys one roll at a time. She stole trash bags from her work for us to use (has never paid for any), and bought dish soap&sponges once. She had the nerve to ask me to buy cleaning supplies for her. She never lacks money for weed tho, which her bf charges her full price for. She also always seems to have money for liquor. And yet.
She doesn’t even pay her own phone bill, and so is always asking to use mine. One time, I told her boyfriend in a text, “Actually, I can’t let her know. You’ll have to find another way to contact her because I work 60 hours a week now and just don’t have the time.”
She told me, angrily (this happened when we told her we were moving out), “I didn’t say anything when you were rude to [name] talking about ‘I work sixty hours’. I was so mad, I was about to go get my phone turned back on!” Spoiler alert: she didn’t. The fucking entitlement, oh my god. The one time she paid a bill without me telling her was last week when the internet got turned off. See, she spends literally all day on psnetwork playing GTAV (which she owes my bf $30 for because IT’S NOT EVEN HERS) and screaming at the top of her lungs at the other players. Another thing she has money for? Gaming headsets.
5) She’s a disgusting drunk.
When she leaves to get wasted, she drinks way too much. The first time, she spent all night in the bathroom throwing up in the bathtub (gross, and which I cleaned up because when she was done being sick, she went to bed and slept til 5 pm), and the second time she spent just an hour throwing up…in the fucking bathtub. What a gross bitch. Again, a thing that didn’t get cleaned until she rolled her ass out of bed at 5 AGAIN and then I asked her to clean up. Ha. She just rinsed it down. I had to scrub the tub with Comet. She’s 23.
6) She’s a liar with no ambition.
She dropped out of college like 5 years ago (irrelevant to our relationship, but relevant to the point). And then she told me about how she totally was going to get this new job that paid well (she works in fast food), but she stopped going to training. And she was fine with that, just likes she’s fine working at the same fast food place for (what? Six years now?) peanuts and no hours. I know, because I used to work with her, but I outgrew it, and got myself training for something better.
7) She just doesn’t care.
She doesn’t care that we’re getting evicted. She doesn’t care that my bf’s credit is going to be fucked because of (her) the utilities. Nothing is a problem for her. She owes her brother $2000 in rent. She owes what is apparently a year’s worth of utility bills to National Grid. She owes who knows how many landlords how much money. And no, of course she told me this AFTER I agreed to help her out and get an apt with her. Oh yeah, btw, she got kicked out of her last apartment because her landlord wanted to rent to his family. So I offered to get a place with her thinking she was a clean, responsible person. I was wrong. I didn’t even need to move out and look what I got for it- debt and an eviction. Yay. Friendship is magic, guys.
I’m currently moving out. My bf and I fear she will squat here. I don’t think she will because I set all the utilities to turn off. And you can’t play GTA V with no electricity. But just in case she borrows some from a neighbor, I’m making sure the internet gets turned off, too.
I should have known better when I heard her own boyfriend didn’t want to live with her (he still doesn’t), but I was a fool. I know now. I know now.